The now catastrophic 2010 Oil Spill tour of the Gulf of Mexico has proven to be the most effective domination of nature since the dam. Many whinny tree hugging fairies have come forth to note their disapproval of such behavior taken by the the United States of Corporate America, claiming that this could have a negative effect on the larger environment if action is not taken quickly enough. They say such a negative effect on the earth could have a negative effect on the human populace, because we live here and stuff.
Others don't think so, pointing out that the general human populace lives within civilization, which is not natural, and because of that we are exempt from environmental crisis, peak oil, or anything pertaining to natural disasters.
"Causation does not imply correlation" said a professor of physics at the University of Maryland, "all these hippies think that because we draw our resources from the natural world that we're inexorably connected to the world. This is not the case. We, the human species, have nothing to do with the condition or evolution of this planet. Most of us just drive our cars and pay our bills. You ever see a lemur or a hive of bees do that? No. And that's definitive proof that we're living in two separate worlds.
"And who cares about all this oil pollution anyhow? I don't see a problem with it leaking into the gulf. It will just mix with the water or something and evaporate into the clouds. Problem solved, no more oil in the Gulf. And as for the wildlife goes, If those little birds and fishies can't avoid the gooey black stuff, thats Darwin in effect. Survival of the fittest."
Later, he tried to demonstrate this particular effect of Darwinian Evolution by pouring bleach on a set of plants. The plants he poured them on, however, we're his neighbors and he was arrested for destruction of property.
A Bayou Fisherman wishes this same logic with destruction of property and arrest would apply to the owners of BP, and thinks they should be treated like terrorists. But not because they've terrorized the vast environment of the Gulf, killed off millions of wildlife and entire species with their act of ecocide, but because they've destroyed the American Economy.
"Osama bin Laden couldn’t have done a better job of destroying a part of the American economy. This oil spill? It’s like the ultimate act of terrorism. And these guys should be treated like terrorists."
Speaking of Osama Bin Laden and Terrorism, one of our correspondents, Captain Tin Hat, had this to say about the oil spill.
"Give me a break," he caustically droned, "do they really expect us to believe that 19 licensed crew members hijacked a government subsidized BP ship with box cutters, sailed into the gulf of Mexico, tried drilling and capping an oil well, and continued such an operation after they failed a key pressure test for the capping of this well?
"This is a highly conspicuous scenario. Anyone with half a brain will deduce that this was obviously a controlled demolition in order to draw attention away from the Political Pedophilia Ring in Scotland and the coming doom of our newly socialized healthcare. We need to rally and wake the sheeple up to bring down this corrupt system, it's the only way!"
Captain Tin Hat could no longer be reached for comment because he had to restrained and given his medicine.
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